To clarify…

As I see people are following and who knows if people I know are going to find this, I need people to know that despite the multiple losers and experiences from my past, those experiences led me to Kyle.

Our story is something out of an epic love story. Kyle and I were born a month apart, to the day, and in the same hospital. We both grew up in Franklin, me on the southwest side and his family lives on the north side. Our fathers worked at the same factory, but my dad worked on on side and his dad worked on another. My dad made catalytic converters and his dad made circuit boards and things of the like. We attended the same company festivals, take your kids to work days, summer playground, and eventually middle school.

Before I moved to Arkansas with my mom, we got out 8th grade yearbooks. As tradition, my BFF Laura and I went through it and picked out the worst picture of the year. I’ll never for get it. It was a boy with those tinted glasses, spiked hair with frosted tips and the most obnoxious Hawaiian shirt. His name is Kyle Schommer.

I’ll get to the very interesting story of how I became the relationship guru in high school, but this someone transcended 650 miles to Milwaukee. It was always so exciting when I got a phone call or a letter from friends back home. One afternoon, Laura called me. She was having a major conundrum. She joined the bowling team, which I was sure was social suicide, but she loved it. Her problem was that there was a boy on the bowling team that she was sure liked her, and she didn’t feel the same way. The situation was getting to awkward and she needed help letting him down easy. His name is Kyle Schommer.

When I moved back to Franklin and went to Franklin High School for my last year, I was a totally different person than I was when I left. I joined the yearbook staff and because the bowling team was like the armpit of the sports teams, it was the only sports page left for the book, so I took it upon myself to do it. This required me to go to the matches and take pictures. This also required me to talk to the coach to find out where I could all go to take pictures. That coach is Kyle Schommer’s mom…

One day I was at Laura’s locker with her when this boy came up and asked about bowling practice. I greeted him, and he just looked at my and continued his conversation with Laura. I was like, really? Asshole! His name is Kyle Schommer.

It turned out that my friends were also Kyle’s friends. I was good friends with his friend Tom, and I was also friends with his best friend Scott. He was friends with Laura, so I mean, it only made sense that we would be friends.

Fast forward to prom. Laura and her boyfriend at the time tried to set me up with one of his friends, who was seriously creepy and gross. We talked on AIM a few times and after he said he wanted nothing more than to rub my feet, he was no longer my prom date. I thought it would be awesome to go with my childhood friend Matt Tatlock, but he already had a date 😦 Tom and I had agreed that if no one asked us that we would go together, but a junior on the bowling team was crying because she had no one to go with so he asked her 😦 So, our friends tried to get Kyle and I to go together. This is still a sore subject with me. He thought I was a loser, and I was not asking a boy to prom. I went alone, Kyle stayed home. He’s still in the doghouse for this 🙂

The next year I went to UW-Eau Claire and he went to Western Illinois University. The summer between freshman and sophomore year, we both worked in the factory our dads worked in. I worked 2nd shift on my dads side and he worked 3rd shift on his dads side. I knew he worked there, and my friends kept telling me to look for him. I did, to the point that I almost crossed over to his building, which was a major no-no. I didn’t end up doing this.

Throughout senior year and the breaks and that summer our friends invited Laura to Kyle’s to hang out and she invited me with. Because of the locker thing, the prom thing and other reasons, I didn’t want to go. Near the end of the summer I broke down and agreed to go play bingo with them at the local casino.

I had actually met his parents when Laura invited me to go to a Brewer’s game with her mom and some “friends” she was inviting. So it was funny when I showed up at their house. We went down into the basement and I’ll never forget what he was wearing. He looked so cute. The problem was, he was an asshole, and I was a competitive bitch. We fought the whole night about who’s side of the factory was better, who made more parts, and yada yada yada. I flirted with another one of their friends all night, and as we were leaving, Kyle and I started talking with more civility. Our dads were actually forced to retire that summer, and we were bonding over that.

As Kyle and I walked down the casino hallway back to the parking garage with our friends, we were really into talking to each other and hearing each other’s thoughts about the situation. The next thing we know, we’re in the parking garage, and our friends are no where to be seen.

I can’t explain what happened next. All I know is that something from deep inside of me radiated from the inside of my body to the tips of my fingers and toes. I had to grab the car next to me to keep from falling down.

Kyle asked me if I was ok, and I was, but wow, that was weird. I called my mom the next day and explained what happened and she told me to keep an eye on him.

So this was back in the early days of Facebook when you had to wait for your school to be added and only college student were allowed. I kind of stalked his page and then proceeded to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait for a friend request that simply wasn’t coming. 

Just before I left for college I got an IM from Western1420. It said “How’s Delphi?” My response: “Who the hell is this and how the hell do you know where I work?” Turned out, it was Kyle. 

From that point on, our relationship was all over IM. We talked almost everyday. By Christmas, I liked him. By Spring Break we went on our first date. By summer we were dating. By August, I was in love.

My mistake was blurting it out. It was so romantic. He was leaving for school and stopped at my house to say goodbye. We were standing at the edge of my dad’s driveway. I was standing on the top of the curb and he was standing on the street. We were holding each other, hugging, kissing, saying goodbye. And then I said it. He giggled and kissed me. And that was that.

The implications of the giggle and kiss were almost devastating. My first week back to school I met another guy at a party. Our relationship grew quickly and we were extremely attracted to each other. It took everything I had not to sleep with him, and I tried really hard not to kiss him, but I failed. By the next weekend, I was ready to dump Kyle.

That Saturday Adam, the other guy, invited me to his house to watch a movie. I thought this was going to be his roommates, but it turned out it was going to be on his futon in his room. We watched about half of the movie and then we were all over each other. As we were kissing, my subconscious kicked in and I thought I was kissing Kyle, and then realized I wasn’t. I had a mini panic attack, told him I had to leave. It freaked him out and I rushed out of him room and down the stairs. He walked me outside and I walked to my dad’s car, which I was borrowing for the weekend. As I walked to the car, instead of waving goodbye, and being the total dork I am, I saluted him. Yes, I saluted him.

I got into the car and immediately called Kyle and got his voicemail. I left him a message and said that I needed to talk to him immediately and I was going to be working at my dorm’s front desk overnight.

At that moment, I realized that I loved Kyle, but he needed to know. He got back to me over IM. I told him everything. The fortunate thing that came out of that situation was that it made Kyle realize that he loved me. 

So, from that point on, we were together. We had some rough patches when he flunked out of college, but I loved him so I supported his goals.

Soon after, I knew I was going to marry him. I brought up to him that I had been having thoughts lately. Thoughts that involved a house, kids and a dog. Couples bowling with my sister and brother in law, and growing old together. I was nervous when I told him, and then he told me he had been thinking that too.

He proposed to me during my last Christmas break of college in December of 2009. In April of 2012 we bought our house, in September we got married and December we got our dog.

Despite the other guys I will write about and the horrible experiences, I love my husband, and it’s these guys and experiences that got me ready to spend the rest of my life with Kyle Schommer.

Regrets

Ok, so I’m totally not unhappy with my life, but I with all of the crap that came down between my 14th-21st birthdays, you have to understand that I had to make a lot of life-altering choices at a young age, and I can’t help but think how things could be very different if I had zigged instead of zagged.

First changed I could have made was choosing to stay in Milwaukee with my dad or move to Arkansas with my mom.

A regret I have is not having a party when I lived down there. My mom and her boyfriend were never home. I was such a good girl/dork, plus no one actually drank down there, but I could have had a rager. Ugh, I should have done it. It would have been awesome.

I regret not having sex with Derrick. I had three chances, and I nixed it every time. Granted, I probably made the best choice, because he had sex with a lot of skeevy, and trashy girls. More than likely, he could have passed a myriad of diseases on to me, eww.

I regret breaking up with Tyler freshman year. He stuttered and had really bad shoes. But he was hot, and really sweet. But it was a problem when he told me he wouldn’t kiss me until we were married. That was the kicker. Turned out, he was joking.

I regret ever dating Greg. That was a mistake and was me totally trying to fit in down there. He was my first boyfriend. He was not cute, handsy and a total stage-5 clinger. We were at a hayride or hay pull, or whatever they call them down there on a family farm of a student at our school. It was through a local church and anyone who was anyone in our school was there. When we got to the location we walked down to the river with our friends. My friend was dating his friend and the next thing we know, they are majorly sucking face. Can you say awkward? He and I hadn’t kissed and I was feeling super uncomfortable. The next thing I know he’s getting closer to me. He pulled me into him and said, “where’s my kiss?” It was horrible, and I mean HORRIBLE. He literally shoved his tongue down my throat. My only kissing experience before that was with Matt Tatlock when I was 5 years old. We thought it was fun to kiss in my playskool tent in the dark. How cute were we??? The same can’t be said for Greg. I spent the next few seriously awkward weeks ignoring him, not answering his phone calls, and flirting with his friends. Because of how crazy and awkward the whole situation was, and because I had never done it before, I broke up with him with a note during a morning class break. When I was at my locker after class he came up to me, didn’t say anything, and ripped up my school picture in front of me, stomped on it, and walked away. It took everything in me to not bust out laughing, because seriously, who does that?

I regret helping Derrick with Kara and never telling him how I truly felt. I know that he knew, but I always wonder what would have happened if I actually let it out there. I also regret lying to EVERYONE about how I felt. It’s not like people didn’t know, but it was the lies that ruined everything.

You know what I don’t regret?

I don’t regret falling in love with Derrick.

I don’t regret moving back to Milwaukee.

Those are two things that have made my life what they are.

That Guy

I want to think that everyone has “that” person that they loved in high school.

I had that person. He was amazing, and a total asshole. What I was able to realize in reflection is that he was using me. I can’t be totally cynical though, I know that he had feelings for me, but he never said anything.

I was the new kid at my school in Arkansas. I had my first boyfriend within weeks and another one within weeks of dumping the last one. Once I was done with him, Derrick came into my life.

Now, when I say he came into my life, I mean we met by the soda machine during our morning break. I don’t completely remember how it happened, but I do remember someone telling him that I was the new girl that moved into his neighborhood, and then he realized who I was.

I was used to being a nobody back home in Milwaukee. I was short, fat and not rich by any means. Luckily I was graced with good looks, but my less than perfect body has ruined most of my life. People suck, pure and simple. But when I moved to Arkansas, people still cared about how I looked, but no one knew my past, I was able to reinvent myself. But I didn’t, I just stayed true to myself.

In the process I learned I was strong, and kind of a bitch. I had turned into a bit of a maneater and it turned out I gained a reputation as someone not to be crossed. Within a few months I went from loser to superstar. I was on everyone’s radar, and I can’t say it wasn’t awesome, most of the time.

Anyways, that recognition had gotten me an in with one of the most popular guy’s in high school, and a junior. He was cute, and super smooth. Unfortunately, it’s those guys that always get to me.

I don’t remember how this happened, but it was almost summer, and it was Sunday, which meant major sleeping in. I remembered my light yellow room was filled with warm sunlight and I was cuddled up in my queen sized bed in the master bedroom my mom relinquished to me in my parents’ fight to win me over, not that I had any problems with that.

The next thing I knew my mom’s boyfriend was knocking at the door. I curled up in my covers and told him he could come in.

“There’s a boy here to see you.”

I was confused, who in the hell was randomly coming to see me at 11 am on Sunday morning, especially of the male persuasion?

I asked him who it was. “It’s the McCandlis boy.”

Then I knew who it was. I felt sick. Not only was I still in bed, but I wasn’t showered, dressed, or had a stitch of makeup on my face. I got out of bed and tried to get as presentable as possible in a very short amount of time.

My mom set him up outside on the back porch with a glass of water. I came out of the back screen door and saw Derrick sitting there. I was still in shock.

“Hey, what are you doing here,” I asked?

I remember him saying something about being neighborly and then he made fun of me for still being in bed when he got there. I’m a night owl, that’s never going to change.

He got the low-down on my past, and then he cut to brass tax. He was in love with my best friend and needed my help to reign her in.

Bingo. That’s what ruled the next three years of my life. He changed everything, and I was never the same again. The relationship changed my friendships, challenged my values, and caused me to lose trust in people.

Yes, Derrick was that boy for me. To cut to the chase, I was madly in love with him, and he was madly in love with my friend. The weird thing was, when he wasn’t with her, he was all over me, and other girls. That’s a story for later, but this guy changed my life. The truth is, I wonder if he knew that, or knows that? The worst part is, my mom still lives down there, and he now lives down the street from her with his wife and two boys, which is yet another story. The fact that I even know anything about him now makes me feel stalkerish, but seriously, blame Facebook.

I can’t possibly fit all stories on one post. There’s a lot to come, from being a relationship guru, having guys fighting over me in the middle of a class, getting called a homewrecker around school for making out with my best friends recently ex-boyfriend, crying during an assembly, having a sobbing and regretful boy begging for my forgiveness at my front door, sneaking out to make out on a four wheeler, having the most amazing surprise 16th birthday party…all of this involved him.

Gosh, lots to write. Can’t wait!